July 23,2009

MY HERO

Hai Zhu, David & Rigdon

I have been playing the waiting game, waiting for my infections to clear. It has meant no mingling with people except on the deck and of course Rigdon, David and I even allowed Hai Zhu in the house, he passed the having no virus test. I have managed to stay well except for the nausea and malaise. I think some of it is just knowing it would be two weeks to wait for the next surgery. The antibiotics have made me really, really sick to my stomach and some days every muscle and bones aches when I walk around. I can't tell you what I have done for two weeks except move from my chair to my bed to the shower to my cutting garden. I have watched some favorite and new movies and listened to a lot of music. I just haven't been able to read except the newspaper, I can't concentrate.

We have discontinued the every other donated meal for these two weeks. Our friends have been so generous, I have been feeling guilty. Rigdon and I have been cooking together, he tells me to set the table and string the peas. We have been enjoying many things from his garden, berries, chard, peas, soon onions and tomatoes and tomatillos. He made his once a year piece de resistance, fried stuffed pumpkin and squash flowers. I felt I would much rather have the meals from friends when I am recovering from chemo. My surgery tomorrow will take out the tissue expanders and put in the tiny (for me) silicone implants. I have started to do some leg exercises to make sure my abdomen doesn't stick out farther than my boobettes. The oncologist did not want me to start chemotherapy as long as I had an infection and thinks I am ready for surgery tomorrow. As soon as I heal from this surgery, I will start the chemo (2-4 weeks). Since my cancer is slow-growing, it is all right to wait on the chemo (as I have said before). In reality the best method to prevent more cancer is the pill taken daily for the rest of your life. That improves survival rate considerably, chemo improves survival by a little bit more and radiation doesn't do that much for cases like mine. Plus radiation is very hard on the body and it is something I choose to skip.

(see photo above)

David came with his boyfriend/partner, Hai Zhou, for Rigdon's 79th birthday. I showered Rig with gifts: a cordless drill, the whole series of "Foyle's War" on DVD, and he treated himself to the newest i-phone. I had lost my i-phone so Rigdon thought this was a good opportunity to buy the newest version for himself. All engineers want the latest and greatest. As soon as he had the old one cleared for me to use, I thought of a jacket I hadn't worn in awhile and the i-phone was in one of the pockets. I was most upset about losing the "skin" Meg had given me, a wonderful rooster on the back of the iPhone that sticks on with static and I figured I could never get another one like it. It was a huge relief to feel it in the pocket.

Hai Zhu made a delicious lobster soup with lobster shells, corn and more and then we ate the pulled out lobster pieces. What a joy not to have to crack one's own oyster. His thumb actually got red for all the work of removing the meat, it looked just like nail polish. David made a raspberry (from Rig's garden) pie and then hooked up a new electronic device for "good ole dad." It will receive Netflix movies on demand on our TV. I have already used it a lot.

Rigdon continues to care for me very well. Who would have thought that the partner 15 years older could handle the house, dog, medical appointments, my requests with such grace. He is indeed my hero.

Julie Valdez has been cutting my hair for 16 years. Her studio, J Studio, is on Union Street. During my last haircut, in April, she offered to come to Point Reyes to cut my hair any time. She has Mondays off and drove from her home in South Marin with her tools and she did a great job. I know I will be losing my hair in a few months, but I needed something short and easy. You can see the haircut in the first photo. She was upbeat, and efficient, wouldn't even stay for lunch because she is moving into a house she and her fiance bought in a few weeks and is packing. I will be indebted to her as to so many folks who do such sweet generous things for me.

Off to Stanford tomorrow morning, Alexis will come to the hospital and stay with me overnight, I will be home on Saturday when my good friend Bill arrives with his partner, Walter. Bill will be my slave. I was going to say "love slave" but some people just don't get my humor.